We get tons of kudos and compliments from customers and fans. And we love every one of them. But hate mail is so much funnier. Even in a single-sentence message, you can sometimes pick out a few misspellings, some illogical logical leaps and two or three contradictions.
Enjoy!
The Good
I want to tell you guys how much we appreciate what you did for us. A few days ago I ordered a martian eye popping squeezie thing and talked to a very nice gentleman there. Told him it was for a 12 year kid in the Seattle Childrens Hospital that had just had a brain tumor removed the week before. He pulled the order for me and put in a nice little note that he printed up. I had only expected maybe a handwritten note but he went above and beyond. Tyler was thrilled to say the least. The note immediately went up on his wall at the hospital. He also threw in a few extra small items and Tyler LOVES the Bacon Gummi candy.
Guys, it is reasons like this that businesses set themselves apart from others. As a business owner myself I always try to instill in my employees that we must set ourselves apart from others if we want to suceed. You guys have definately done that and should be commended for your efforts.
Again, Thank you so much from our hearts,
Lee Bowling and the Pork-Que BBQ Team
Cordova TN
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A satisfied customer
I got my much anticipated package in the mail today! When my daughter said I had a package from MerchBot, I almost jumped for joy right there in the seat of my car!
I know my boyfriend will just love and forever cherish his copy of "15 Point Guide to Peeing in the City". Like I'd told you on the phone, he loved the stuff I got him from you for his birthday (I think I mentioned that he has the "DIY Porn Kit" magnets proudly displayed on his refrigerator).
Thanks so much for having an easy to use site with some of the most fun, interesting, off-the-wall, and just plain different merchandise. I read some of the critical letters today when I took a peek to see if you had anything new, and all I've got to say to those people is get a frickin' sense of humor. Just because it's not funny to you, that doesn't mean it doesn't crack somebody else right the hell up. Plus, there are plenty of other normal and boring sites to buy stuff through, so go there instead and leave my MerchBot alone!!!
Thanks again, and I will definitely be coming back to order more great stuff from you in the future.
Happy Holidays and best luck wishes to you all for the New Year!!!
RHJ1967
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I had a dream about merchbot...
Django drove me into downtown Bellingham and parked my car - not in a normal parking place but up on the sidewalk next to a building. He said it would be fine there. We went into Merchbot except the store was a different shape, wider. The store was dark inside because Django had turned the lights off to save money on energy. Plenty of people were milling around in the dark, cluttered interior. The merchandise wasn't normal Merchbot fare. It seemed to be related to knitting and spinning stuff. Django showed me a little box of wrapped up items that were the only typical Merchbot merchandise left over from Christmas. There were some toddler toy cameras and some other stuff.
We went out through the back, down a couple of stairwells and then through a weird rotating concrete door. Behind the door was a huge skatepark back, shaped like a hockey rink. A lot of homeless people were watching from bleachers. I told Django I'd like to come back there and skate someday.
Andy Robbins
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Another satisfied customer
I just wanted to send you guys a quick email to say thank you so much for all the amazing goodies I've just received!! They're brill and I can't thank you enough for posting it all so quickly, perfect timing for my sister's birthday!
Thanks again!
Charlotte
The Bad
Believe it or not, this is a real letter from a real site visitor
To Whom it May Concern:
I think it is in poor taste to carry the gingerbread men cookie cutters with missing legs, arms and heads. There are too many servicemen who have lost limbs and are losing them right now in conflicts around the world to make light of a missing limb. Also, there are many children who have had to have limbs removed it is disturbing to see people trying to get a laugh out of these cookies.
Also, with the atrocities committed in the Middle East, like beheadings, it is much less funny than it would have been several years ago.
Sincerely,
Barbara Domingos
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Why We Don't Sell Che Guevara Shirts Any More
We got a letter from these guys who allegedly produce the only legal Che Guevara shirts available in Nort America in Honduras... [More info here...]
To Whom it May Concern:
Your Che Guevara t-shirt infringes on the exclusive North American and worldwide copyright that my company, Fashion Victim, owns for this image, taken by Cuban photographer, Alberto Korda. Unless you immediately cease and desist in its sale, and confirm the same in writing within 48 hours, we will pursue all legal remedies regarding this infringement. These rights have been tested in court and we will not hesitate to enforce them.
Fashion Victim, Inc. holds the exclusive North American commercial rights for use on certain apparel (including men's and women's shirts, long and short-sleeved t-shirts and sweatshirts) of the photograph "Guerillo Heroico" of Che Guevara wearing his beret with a star taken in Havana, Cuba on March 6, 1960 by Mr. Alberto Diaz Guittierez Korda. The photo has been registered under a U.S. GATT visual art copyright number VA-1-276-975 dated effective as of February 17, 2004.
As cited in the case Legende L.L.C. vs. Products for Progressives, Inc., Fashion Victim will protect this copyright from infringers and bootleggers with legal action as necessary. In this consent order from case number 04-CV-04696 MJD/JGL, the United States Minnesota District Court recognized and stipulated to the intellectual property rights above, and held that Products for Progressives (dba Northern Sun) had in fact infringed on Fashion Victim's intellectual property rights by reproducing this image on a T-shirt without a license to do so. The court also recognized the chain of ownership from the estate to Fashion Victim through licenses granted thereby, thus creating judicial precedent for future legal action as well as granting financial remuneration for the infringement.
If you have any further questions, please feel free to contact me.
David McWilliams
President
Fashion Victim
3651 Clearview Place
Doraville, GA 30340
770-454-7661, ext 213
The Ugly
Haley E. Moriss says:
YOU RETARTED OR SOMIN JESUS ROCKS AND SO DOES BUSH YA'LL JUST A BUNCH OF TEME'S [JAPANESE FOUND OUT!].
March 3, 2006
Fuck Lefty says:
Do you terrorists collaberating lefty scum have any Pro-osama products or do you give to al-queda at your local dnc hq?
January 23, 2006
Kyle says:
Awww... Bush is in for two whole terms whether you like it or not. TOO FUCKING BAD YOU COMMUNIST PIECES OF SHIT! BTW... have you noticed that you LOST THE COLD WAR YEARS AGO?!?! Get a fucking life. Go blow yourself up or something like the other extremists do.
December 10, 2005
Rick says:
you guys are just plain sick in the head!! I guess it is true that people will do anything for a dollar huh? What would Jesus bomb? My question is what will YOU say to Jesus when you meet your maker?? It was all in fun?? Good Luck,,you will need it. You do not need my email address,,do not want your crap to even get near my email.
September 25, 2005
Democracy Dave says:
So how do you feel now that your failed attempts at a coup of the presidency and the only real purveyors of Freedom, the Republicans won? George Bush beat the crap out of us regular Democrats on election day because of wacko Liberal Socialist nuts like you guys messing up the works. Go join Ward Churchill in Cuba if you love Communism, Oppression and Slavery so much and leave the Democratic party to true Democrats who believe in Freedom and Democracy. Better Democrat than Socialist scum like you guys.
March 13, 2005
